We are where we are because of the decisions we’ve made in the past, and where we end up in five years will be a consequence of the decisions we make now and in the future ahead. When you boil it down, achievement is decision making, yes or no, right or wrong, invest or opt-out, they all have an influence on our future.
Decision making is a valued skill, and rightly so, but to get somewhere decent I don’t actually think the decisions are that hard, it’s not about finding the right answer, it’s about making the right decision. If you’ve got some self-limiting beliefs and you don’t know that it’s possible then you might not know the right answer, but if you know that you can, then why the heck wouldn’t you? Well here’s my best answer: It’s a question of Integrity vs Easy, the serial killer of dreams.
Why wouldn’t you go running? I look okay and the couch looks even better.
Why not learn some new skills? Well, I seem to be coping fine right now so there’s no need!
How about making extra time for your loved one? He/She’s fine, I’m fine, no point!
If you’ve ever said something similar, I’m almost certain that you were lying to yourself. Please, for the sake of your future, be truthful to yourself.
Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity. - William Clement Stone
If you’re one of those people who asks ‘why’ when it comes to improving who you are, I’ve got a better question: why not? Why not be even fitter than you were before? Why not become more knowledgeable and make more money? Why not have a more intimate relationship with your loved one?
It’s Too Easy Not To
I think this ties in with our instant-gratification culture, we want the best [looking] thing and we want it now, that might be the thing that tastes the nicest, looks the nicest or feels the nicest. The problem here is that the best decision is the hardest one. It may not taste the best and it might not look that great either, but the hardest choice is always the best.
The wall of Integrity vs Easy is the filter of greatness, those who make the easiest and worst decisions won’t be let past – simply because they’re not worthy of the rewards beyond.
The important thing to remember is that the wall doesn’t judge, similarly like a sieve doesn’t judge a piece of flour that’s too big. If you previously made bad decisions and then change your ways, the wall will gladly let you through and enable you to feast on some of the treasures.
We All Fail
Just because the wall gets the better of you on one occasion certainly doesn’t mean that it will get you the next. It might, but if you keep trying the law of averages will work in your favour. The worst thing to do is sit back down after the first failure, and I think that’s fairly common knowledge.
Me? I’ve failed lots, sometimes I’ve left my values stand for too long or I’ve let some slip while I chase after others, and that’s just 2! But that’s in the past, and by making better decisions in the future I know I can be better. I also know that I’m going to fail some more, a heck of a lot more, but that’s good! The more failures I meet means that I’ll meet even more successes, and that’s ultimately what I’m after.
I’m interested to know where this wall stands with you. Do you consciously try to make the right decisions, simply because they’re right? Let me know!
- Nick
I think the worst thing any human can do is be stationary, still; not moving, learning. Whether that comes from being content or not, it’s scary as hell. There is nothing more satisfying than improvement. Sure, it’s not easy, who said it would be? There’s no sense of achievement when you do something ‘easy’.
That’s what people are scared of though, failure. Failure, embarrassment, humility, shame; they’re all labels that don’t mean anything. I can’t remember the last time I felt embarrassed for more than a day – because it didn’t happen! Failure breeds success.
Great post, Nick
I totally agree, improvement is the mother of happiness. It may not be easy, but I don’t think it’s that much harder than the easy option. Just gotta know that and go for it!
Aha good for you! I’m thinking back now, and I’m struggling with finding that day
You’re right! They certainly don’t mean anything, and any successful person would gladly embrace any of them.
Well, thank you for the comment Sam!
Love this “I think the worst thing any human can do is be stationary, still; not moving, learning.”
I find integrity to be one of the rarest trait in a lot of the people in my life. Actually, the idea of self-improvement scares most people for some reason. It’s such a promising concept that I don’t understand why they feel this way. Who doesn’t want to better themselves?
For certain things such as getting in shape, I can understand because there is both literal physical pain involved along with mental will, but for existential growth, why do people seem to take the easy route of stagnation?
Maybe the idea of rejection is too much for people to bear, but sometimes taking the path of least resistance gets you nowhere. If it gets you somewhere, then you should expect mediocre results.
Definitely, but then it makes finding one so much more special. Well I think everyone wants it – the easy way, but only some are willing to go for the hard route.
There may be another element of pain, but then I think it depends how you look at the pain. When I work out, I love the burn. I’m still smiling even though something is on fire within me, but then that could just be me – who knows!
That seems like the best conclusion to draw! Thank you for your thoughts and insights Vincent
The easy route wasn’t working for me and finally life was too intolerable that I HAD to change. I was miserable being overweight. I had so many health issues and was only 26 (high blood pressure, pre-diabetic). It took finally being totally miserable in my lot in life to make the drastic change. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get us off the couch and the easy path.
It’s a shame that it had to come to such extreme circumstances to force that change, but better that than not changing at all! You’ve got a great story of that change, and it’s a fantastic example of this topic!
I think I’ve said this before, but hats off to you for doing it, I think that the majority can’t. Have a great day!
This is all so true Nick. These things . . .
Instant gratification.
The easy way out.
The path of least resistance.
These are precisely the things that kill the soul. There can be no growth when they dominate your choices. And without growth you’re not really living.
I know. That was me once.
It wasn’t until I made the decision to follow the hard path that things began to turn around. Every hard choice brings new character. Stronger character.
Integrity.
Cheers!
‘There can be no growth when they dominate your choices’ – Certainly not! It’s always hard to make the turnaround, but as you well know – it’s worth it.
I often say to myself that it’s not what you get in life that’s worth it, it’s what you become – and if you’re growing that means becoming a better, stronger person.
Thank you Trevor!